The inner fight

We are many each one of us

In each of us there is a continuous struggle. Some voices pull you in one direction, others try to pull you in another. Opposing voices, fighting each other inwardly, prevent us from making a decision. We are divided. The mirror shows a picture of an unintegrated part that we prefer not to see. It seems ugly and unpleasant. The energetic anger explodes and manifests itself in external conflicts. Each of the voices tries to dominate us. Many arguments can be found for each pole. On one day we feel like that, on another completely opposite. One of the parts comes to power. The explosion is just before the climax. Not much is missing anymore, then the inner struggle destroys us. The inner world is reflected in the outside. Often we find a pile of broken fragments. Our life ends in a seemingly insurmountable struggle.

The inner struggle cannot be defeated by the dominance of one part. It can only be dissolved by the integration of unloved parts and lead to a higher self. Human evolution is satisfied.
Everyone knows this feeling of attraction or repulsion by the qualities, actions and qualities of others. The truth is that all this is just a mirror for our own qualities and qualities. We have buried these parts of ourselves deeply, we have repelled them because we have been told that they do not fit into the normalized social life. Anger, fear, hatred, envy were not rewarded by recognition. Courage, rebellion, obstinacy, sexuality were dampened – not to attract attention, but to run along well. But these forces cannot go anywhere. They are in us, they are there, they are active. Another person who has these qualities only resonates with us because these parts are in an inner struggle.

In deep meditation – over days – Atman has brought his demons into his field of consciousness. The non-integrated inner heroes and anti-heroes fight for the attention of the mind. When he saw Kali’s abstract expression on this canvas, it was clear to him that his inner struggle was taking place here. He therefore brought the suppressed qualities of childhood to this canvas in the form of comic figures and used forms that already existed. Each of the figures were pre-defined by Kali’s abstract expression on the canvas.

On the right side of this work we find the „heroes“, while on the left side the dark shadows of the ego attack.

  • In the lower right part, the power, the courage, the passion is depicted in the form of a being that is based on Akuma. Akuma, a fictional character from the computer game Street Fighter, polarizes through his strength, his dignity, his mystery and his dark charisma. He fights. He only knows the fight. Skilfully, with a lot of passion and strength, he encounters every opponent who stands in his way.
  • In the lower left part is his opponent. A fish-like sea monster tries to sneak up on Akuma and trick him with cunning, calculation, doubt, envy, hatred and anger. „Why take the straight, honest path when we can outsmart, exploit and cross everyone else?“ Of course Akuma doesn’t get involved in this and meets the creep with all his energy, which he draws from the depths of the soul.

  • While the lower part of the painting moves more in the lower inner struggle of the instincts and thus of the body, the mental, spiritual struggle is hidden in the upper part. In the upper left corner lurks a toad-like monster, which sows with its sticky tongue all the qualities so attached in us, like doubt, fear, worries, repentance, inferiority.


  • His antagonist can be found in the upper right part of the painting. Like a mystic, this not yet fully developed character carries the inner sword of consciousness. He is still in integration, in formation. His orange body is still half a cloud, his mirror image is a misshapen alien. So strange is the inner world of consciousness for the non-integrated human being. While the mystic is about to open his third eye, his own shadow still looks flat into the area.

Integration is already in full swing. An irreversible process. Soon consciousness will assemble the forms into a big whole and unite all the initially contradictory aspects into a holistic being…but until then the inner struggle is going on.

  • Combination of graffiti & acrylic painting on canvas
  • Size: 100 x 100 x 4,5 cm